Jun 21 at 8:59 PM
When love calls it will speak
Intro
The reason why love is my favorite word. Is because I spent my days running away from it, saying the pain was too much. Love is my favorite word, because it taught to forgive those, who gave me pain. It taught me to learn from that pain. Then when love called for me, which was the creator, poetry &music. I just knew I had to become that voice of love, that was never dead. Because to me love translates to L for loyalty, O is obtaining it as a shield. V is victory, for overcoming that pain, trials & tribulations, struggles & storms of love. And E is for that everlasting excitement of happiness.
The pain of love
Why can't we crave love like we do food and alcohol. It's because food gives us that orgasm that we need. And alcohol makes us loose & excited for that sexual penitration. We constantly throw up love, because we haven't forgiven or learned. From that pain & fake love, that gives love more truth and power. We can't have that everlasting love & happiness. If we haven't overcome being mentally ill, emotionally ill, physically ill, & spiritually ill. I didn't know what love was until. I went through a sickness of being abused and persecuted. Because of how I looked. So I use to wake up thinking I was ugly. The pain that was given to me, sent me to a dark place, where I didn't want love or to be seen. Then I looked to my parents to see if they had kept love alive. I was torn with disappointment, because all I use to see. Was them arguing and constantly having sex, to erase their anger. There was one day where, we were all in the car. Then my parents got to arguing & then my dad got mad, where he physically hit my mom. So this is what love is, a woman who gets abused. My mom remained strong no matter what, working hard to take care of her kids. So my mom took my dad thinking he was gone change. But he let alcohol become his life & love of temptation. How do us kings keep love alive, if we can't express ourselves. Let alone keep communication alive, our imperfections should be our tools. For keeping love alive. So my mom had enough, of my dad not helping out financially. And she was fed up with my dad, who was always passing out from alcohol. So the years went by, & we have moved to Santa Monica California. For that new lifestyle. Did my mom give up on love, no she got tired. Of dealing with men who remained boys. It made me think could love heal you, & save you. Yes if you don't reject it, when it calls for you, to speak to you. Two years went by & that's when my mom met the love of her life. His name is Dennis Gary &, my mom Portia Walker told him alot about me. So him & I played a game of chess, to get to know one another. I had won the first of many games being played between us. A father figure and male role model, has been brought back into my sister's & I life. I was so happy & inspired again, that love called to speak to my mom. This was a love story like no other, & it so deep. Cause he wasn't a beast, that came to just bust nuts. They stepped in the name of love, like a black king & black queen should. Mr. Gary & Ms. Walker didn't hide their affection for one another. That their days consisted of writing love letters,& him catering to my mom. Letting her know she is that love that never ends. Then my dad hears about the new man, that came into my mom's life. So he finally was trying to take back, that love that was never dead. By buying a wedding ring & proposing to my mom. Who already had love that didn't hurt. My step dad had taught me not to be soft, or scared of love, that calls & speaks to you. And my dad taught me not to waste a woman's time or love. Just because we have lost faith in love. Doesn't mean a man & a woman, haven't been through that same pain. Then my step dad became ill in November 2006, & he didn't let my mom know. But she found out because he wasn't looking the same. This tore my mom's heart because they set to get married. And we were a family that had so much love &happiness. Our last family outing was at Red Lobster restaurant, enjoying one last time as a family. On March 9th 2007 he passed away at St. John's Hospital, Santa Monica California. This was the night before my track meet, sophomore year of high school. I didn't have the right mindset to run this race the next day. But I could hear his voice saying, don't soft or scared now. When things in life happen we must continue to live, & fight for that lifestyle you want. I know it wasn't going to be easy, but I wasn't going to forget the stories he told. See when love calls it will speak, the question is will we. As human beings continue to reject it, persecute it & run away from it. We make the battle even harder when we, don't return to the creators love & unconditional love. That love that called for my mom, didn't fade away it forever lives with in her heart.
A man who rejected love until
As I got older I had to learn that, the king & queen must become one & working as one. I use to think love wasn't for me, due to my insecurities. But that changed my junior year of high school, fall of 2007. I had met this fine young queen, who was only one year younger than me. It was even more sexy that she was made different. We started out talking as friends & we met in spanish class. She told me she was a sophomore, & I said you look older, so she laughed. And told me her name is Katie and my name is Jarvon. I didn't know all that time of me & her having conversations. Would lead to another love story, for me to wake up when love called for me, to speak to me. So everyday at lunch time she would approach me, when I didn't notice her. Saying my name with so much love & admiration. And giving me hugs letting me know, that her love would have me wet for days. But I was stupid for not pursuing that interracial love, with a white queen. I was so worried about what my family was saying. That I was mad at myself. Because she was that white chocolate queen, who had that sexy walk & sexy talk. As I was returning for my final year of high school, for the fall of 2008. She was still thinking of me, I had thought I didn't have another chance. We had the same spanish class again, to make this right. This is how I knew love was speaking to me. Cause she knew I was shy & scared, when it came to love. She should of been made the love, that would be my queen for prom. But I let that ignorance of others, get to me again. So when the school dance came around, Katie asked will I be her date, for the dance. And I kept messing up, then spirit week came. At lunch I went to one of the tables, where they had different items. Her best friend was on the cheer leading team, &she asked me am I buying Katie flowers. I said yes I am, that's when Katie came out of no where. Asking are those flowers for her & it made her smile even more. When you reject love this many time, it will still be speaking to you. I had to learn that love will always overcome & heal that pain. So I went back to focusing on track & finishing high school. That I didn't hear the lyrics of love, from Rhiaunna who was also on the track team. And I had known her since 2007. Her love began speaking to me, when she started talking to me after school. Saying things like why you always so loud. And she always had a big smile on her face. I was like dayum she is, that brown sugar love that I needed. It was a trip to me because every time, I was standing by myself. She was always approaching me, revealing that brown sugar love, that was so sweet. After the African American senior awards, she approached me with that sexy orange dress. A poem was already being written, that I didn't even express them lyrics. Rhiaunna said that I was the only one, that could make here laugh & smile. I use to write her messages on facebook, she telling me she knew. If that was so. Then why didn't you, tell me why you finally wanted me. As that drop of caramel that would be, that love that never ends. This made me wonder would Rhiaunna and I, start making love to one another. If she was my prom date. This would be a love story, that would be turned into a movie. We graduated high school and went our separate ways. But years later my best friend John L. Still calls me telling me, have I talked to Rhiaunna. He's always telling me, she still ask about me. Then he says you start dating her. I kept saying why she didn't tell me, what she really felt. John told me you know how girls are. When it comes to having a crush on a man. And I said she wasn't shy when we were in high school. So I don't know why she is acting shy now. There is no reason for me to hate, on that brown sugar love. That called for me & spoke to me. Rhiaunna when you read my book, you will know my love for you. Didn't turn into hate, & it didn't fade away.
To become that man of love
So I was starting my first year at Santa Monica City College, I had made some new friends. I was taking a basketball class, during the summer of 2010. Then I met this chick who started flirting with me. Throwing water on me, then I had slapped her on her ass. I had never got that close, to doing that to a woman. Krystin & I started dating, and she told me her past. A person's old dirty laundry doesn't bother me, because your past is your past. I thought it was real love, until she called me the night after. From spending a romantic day at Dock Wolier Beach California. She called to tell me that she had cheated on me. Yes I had cried, but I was to forgive her. Because you can't move on. If can't forgive that pain of love. We became good friends who saw each other every day between classes. It woke me up not to give up on love or keep rejecting it. There is a reason why pain exist. I was still lost & trying to find myself. To discover what my gifts, skills &abilities were. Then I had discovered at the age of 19, that I was supposed to be an actor who does poetry. My first audition was at Gower Studios on Sunset & Gower Hollywood California. I had got the audition when a PR rep from the company, to my school. I was so happy that I had found something, to act out my emotions. But what put my dreams on hold was not having money, & not having the support of my family. The year of 2011 came & it was a battle for real. That becoming a pro athlete wasn't for me. The journey of a transformation began, when the creator, poetry & music. Called for me when I was 5 years old. But I didn't accept the responsibility due to fear, to remain in the spotlight. And finally I had to deal with this pain, that gave me so much anger due to ignorance. I had already wrote a series of poems at the age of 16, that I didn't tell anyone. There was no more being scared & sensitive. So I recited my first poem, her flow is my melody. At this open mic called the Jamboree, off of Fairfax &Melrose Hollywood California. My soul brotha Fonze told me about this open mic. At first it was cool but then, the audience became infected with booty bandits. I had forgot this is Hollywood California, the capital of bullshit. I had met Fonze on the number 7 big blue bus. And we were brought into each other lives, to deliver one another. For still holding on to them demons that blinded us from the truth. Then we began hanging out every day, the community had notice that we are brothers. We made the creators love, faith & prayer, poetry &music so strong. That we were healing people & ourselves everyday. We had no choice but to throw away our egos, in order to defeat the devil. That boring open mic taught me, that I must not shut down. When the audience gets rude & chaotic. I had no choice but to find a new home, to let my voice be heard for poetry. I was doing my research on google & found this open mic, called Nicetys Poetry N Motion lounge. It was on 91st & Western ave, that had went down on Thursdays &Friday nights. As I had came to Nicetys on a Thursday night, I went to go speak with the owner. I had told her my age, that I was 20. And Ms. Nicety told me, you have to be 21 & over. Before she let me walk away. Ms. Nicety let me perform because she received a message, that I had a testimony to tell. This love of poetry &music that called for me, gave me an out let. To deal with my emotions. So Nicetys Poetry N Motion lounge, became a weekly thang. But the spiritual battle got deeper when, the devil was using my family. To get rid of me. All because I had to learn that I was the medicine, to that pain. That gives love more truth & power.
My mom who needed love
I was kicked out my house for helping, my twin Shante Mask find a place. We had both went to the Los Angeles County building, to apply for food stamps & General relief. After our case was approved we had, to look into housing assistance programs. We only could find transitional housing, which was like a group home. But this type of program was full of all type of people. It was already bad enough I couldn't sleep, or didn't eat that much. Because I wanted to resolve this issue of me & my mom both being hurt. And the creator told me not to forsake her, or leave her. So my mom had forgiven me, for not healing her pain. Then I returned home because I had enough, of that transitional housing. It was time for me to free my closet full of demons. See you can't have love, if you can't forgive those that gave you pain. It took me a long time to understand this, because I didn't deal with my nightmares or issues. No matter how big the scars are. They can be turned back into love, we must remain open to it. I am happy that the creator, poetry &music did call for me. I probably would of joined a gang, got hooked on drugs, or committed suicide. This love that was dealing with me for so many years. Was speaking to me, to prepare me, to preach to people. Who left love for drugs, money, fame etc. This was the test for me, not to remain so emotional. Then I began telling Ms. Nicety what was going on. She suggested that I go to her nephews church. And get deep into my spiritual journey. She took me in as her adopted son. I was very thankful for her letting me perform, at her open mic spot. Ms. Nicety was teaching me so much that it made see. That no matter what, nothing can replace the love of your family.
The Cinderella story
As the year 2011 was coming to an end. I was hearing about the Americas Got Talent Auditions. It was going to be on December 18 &19, at the Anaheim convention center. So I had registered to go on as a lyrical poet. I'm just thinking that this was going to be, me going to an audition. Little did I know love was calling for me, to speak to me. The night before the audition, I was in a hurry. That I didn't bring warm clothes for the cold. All I had was a sweater, my back pack, & the bible. But it wasn't enough to keep me going through the night. I was the first one, to be in line. I thought it would already be a long line, at 8pm at night. But more people started coming by each hour of the night. And that's when I notice this young black queen. Who was fine, like a never before seen flower. She was like 4 in line, with her nice tent. I tried to get some sleep, but the cold winds kept me up. Destiny & I both woke up, and we began talking. And she was asking me, what song should she sing. I told her to sing, what's in her heart. Her voice was so calm & sweet. It had me think she had that anointing. It was now 5am and we were both drained. So we both got out of line, to get some hot chocolate. From the star bucks inside the hotel. We were waiting like an hour for it to open up. And it was finally 6am, so we walked back to the line. As soon as we found out, we had lost our spots in line. Was it divine faith that we placed in the same group. I guess it was because Destiny kept approaching me. With that big lovely smile & that body like woah. So she began asking me questions. And I didn't reject her love, that was speaking to me. As we were one of the last groups to audition. I waited for Destiny after my audition. I heard her kill her audition. I seen her tears of joy, & knew it was her time to shine. Before we went our separate ways. She told me to take her number down & I did. A week had went by, & she had called me. I thought the man was supposed to be, the one to lead. The first step in name of love. We spent a few weeks talking on the phone. That frustration of not being able, to see each other got to us. So she made a date to come to Los Angeles. She said does it bother me, that we live 4& a half hours away from it each other. I said lets see where things go. It was now January 2012, we were finally going to meet. So Destiny & her new born son, came to my mom's house. I introduced her to my mom. Then we went to McDonald's to get her son something to eat. Then we came back to my mom's house, sat on the front porch talking. Then she ask me, when was the last time you had sex. I told her I am a 20 year old virgin. She said you will be alright, once you get some good pussy. Then we went in the house, sat on the couch, to talk some more. Then she reached in my pants, to grab my dick. And she said dayum you already hard & wet, lets go. So we entered my bed room, she quickly found a toy. For her son to play with. She quickly takes off, her pants & panties. Wanting me to get on top, & begin stroking that wet pussy. Yes we were about raw sex, it just felt right. So the first round of sex felt so dam good, that I couldn't pull out. As I stopped to think, once I bust this big nut inside her. She will become pregnant. But it was time to get back to losing my virginity. And she grabbed me, to not stop. It felt good to bust that first nut. I still had an erection, then I said. Let me hit it from the back doggy style. The sex position doggy style became, my favorite position. And after each time we saw each other. All we did was have sex. I was like dayum, she put it on me each time. We were so busy having sex. That we didn't spend time, getting to know one another. Then she tells me she prayed for a man, that was no different than her. when I had got my tablet return money. I had more than enough, for an engagement ring. On February 14, 2012, I went to fox hills mall in Culver City CA. To buy some things for Victoria Secret, &buy the ring from Kevin jewlers. After a long night of love making. I Jarvon had proposed to Destiny on February 15, 2012. So at the age of 20, I was now engaged. I was taking on a huge responsibility, & I couldn't hold back now. So a few months went by, of me &her. Going back & forth to see one another. The relationship ended in August 2012. It ended because I didn't have job, and I wasn't going to move Visalia CA Central Valley. There was just so many things that went wrong. She was insecure thinking I was a pimp. And she also kept questioning my sexuality. Asking me if I am a bisexual man. Destiny was constantly persecuting me because I was weird. We both came from the same background. That we could relate to each other's pain. I let her keep the ring as a gift. I had learned so much from this relationship. That I must not throw away my love, unconditional love & kindness.
The healing from that love
My pain from this relationship started to heal. Once I let the creator speak to me with my new gift. To start singing romantic love songs. So no matter how many times, my heart got broke. Love was always there to speak to me. You see love is not the enemy. It's that ignorance that keeps us from the real truth. It is now 2015 & I have been single for almost 4years now. Because I am so focused on becoming an actor who does poetry. Becoming a male model. And soon have my own massage therapy business. Its now the summer of 2015 and I had to make another change. So I heard about Job Corp and I applied online for the orientation. My new journey for success began on July 20,2016 at Long Beach Job Corp CA. I'm thinking that I was gone loner and anticocial, staying focus for success. Let alone be in the spotlight light again of having love. But I was wrong and this new adventure for romance began in August 2016. In this class called career success foundation. At lunch this young lady Justice asked me do you think I'm pretty. And I replied I will write it down. So I had written a poem for her called she is that love that speaks. And I asked my friend Cedric at lunch time to give to her. The next day thats when the adventure for romance began. But I didn't take her serious because she was young and wil. It was a week later I decided to give her a chance, and told her roomate Stephanie to give her my number. This first phone conversation took place Sunday night, where she wanted to hear more poetry. Days later went by and I'm thinking is time to have love again. But I just became frustrated because all she would call me for. Is to go the store for her. How do u love and miss a person, if you don't take the time to spend time with the person. I continued to be nice to her to show patience. I gave Justice a chance not because she is that thick caramel red bone. But because she needed to be reminded that black men, are more than niggas. Who pursue women just to fornicate. Another suprise took my heart, two days after thanksgiving Saturday. Where ex first love Destiny called me, saying she will be LA lets meet up. So I go to Compton Califronia to meet up with Destiny. I was happpy because I waited 5 years for this. And she was happy to see me. And we started our reconnection, by talking everyday on the phone again. Yes this is a battle for me to prove to her and her kids, that I'm not a nigga. Who doesn't appreciate a good woman. Its been back and fourth due to her past of not having the right man, but the creator spoke to her again. So we finallly are making this work, cause loved called for us agian. Not to be torn by our scars of pain. I have decided to go the army, so that Destiny and I can have the life of not being broken. But I finally had to let destiny go, because she left me for the second time. She stopped talking to me, cause of her family issues. And because we are not in our careers. Now I must erase the wedding vows I wrote. So I no longer have to bleed from faliure. This was my experience. When love calls it will speak. To teach us that love, was never the lie.
Intro
The reason why love is my favorite word. Is because I spent my days running away from it, saying the pain was too much. Love is my favorite word, because it taught to forgive those, who gave me pain. It taught me to learn from that pain. Then when love called for me, which was the creator, poetry &music. I just knew I had to become that voice of love, that was never dead. Because to me love translates to L for loyalty, O is obtaining it as a shield. V is victory, for overcoming that pain, trials & tribulations, struggles & storms of love. And E is for that everlasting excitement of happiness.
The pain of love
Why can't we crave love like we do food and alcohol. It's because food gives us that orgasm that we need. And alcohol makes us loose & excited for that sexual penitration. We constantly throw up love, because we haven't forgiven or learned. From that pain & fake love, that gives love more truth and power. We can't have that everlasting love & happiness. If we haven't overcome being mentally ill, emotionally ill, physically ill, & spiritually ill. I didn't know what love was until. I went through a sickness of being abused and persecuted. Because of how I looked. So I use to wake up thinking I was ugly. The pain that was given to me, sent me to a dark place, where I didn't want love or to be seen. Then I looked to my parents to see if they had kept love alive. I was torn with disappointment, because all I use to see. Was them arguing and constantly having sex, to erase their anger. There was one day where, we were all in the car. Then my parents got to arguing & then my dad got mad, where he physically hit my mom. So this is what love is, a woman who gets abused. My mom remained strong no matter what, working hard to take care of her kids. So my mom took my dad thinking he was gone change. But he let alcohol become his life & love of temptation. How do us kings keep love alive, if we can't express ourselves. Let alone keep communication alive, our imperfections should be our tools. For keeping love alive. So my mom had enough, of my dad not helping out financially. And she was fed up with my dad, who was always passing out from alcohol. So the years went by, & we have moved to Santa Monica California. For that new lifestyle. Did my mom give up on love, no she got tired. Of dealing with men who remained boys. It made me think could love heal you, & save you. Yes if you don't reject it, when it calls for you, to speak to you. Two years went by & that's when my mom met the love of her life. His name is Dennis Gary &, my mom Portia Walker told him alot about me. So him & I played a game of chess, to get to know one another. I had won the first of many games being played between us. A father figure and male role model, has been brought back into my sister's & I life. I was so happy & inspired again, that love called to speak to my mom. This was a love story like no other, & it so deep. Cause he wasn't a beast, that came to just bust nuts. They stepped in the name of love, like a black king & black queen should. Mr. Gary & Ms. Walker didn't hide their affection for one another. That their days consisted of writing love letters,& him catering to my mom. Letting her know she is that love that never ends. Then my dad hears about the new man, that came into my mom's life. So he finally was trying to take back, that love that was never dead. By buying a wedding ring & proposing to my mom. Who already had love that didn't hurt. My step dad had taught me not to be soft, or scared of love, that calls & speaks to you. And my dad taught me not to waste a woman's time or love. Just because we have lost faith in love. Doesn't mean a man & a woman, haven't been through that same pain. Then my step dad became ill in November 2006, & he didn't let my mom know. But she found out because he wasn't looking the same. This tore my mom's heart because they set to get married. And we were a family that had so much love &happiness. Our last family outing was at Red Lobster restaurant, enjoying one last time as a family. On March 9th 2007 he passed away at St. John's Hospital, Santa Monica California. This was the night before my track meet, sophomore year of high school. I didn't have the right mindset to run this race the next day. But I could hear his voice saying, don't soft or scared now. When things in life happen we must continue to live, & fight for that lifestyle you want. I know it wasn't going to be easy, but I wasn't going to forget the stories he told. See when love calls it will speak, the question is will we. As human beings continue to reject it, persecute it & run away from it. We make the battle even harder when we, don't return to the creators love & unconditional love. That love that called for my mom, didn't fade away it forever lives with in her heart.
A man who rejected love until
As I got older I had to learn that, the king & queen must become one & working as one. I use to think love wasn't for me, due to my insecurities. But that changed my junior year of high school, fall of 2007. I had met this fine young queen, who was only one year younger than me. It was even more sexy that she was made different. We started out talking as friends & we met in spanish class. She told me she was a sophomore, & I said you look older, so she laughed. And told me her name is Katie and my name is Jarvon. I didn't know all that time of me & her having conversations. Would lead to another love story, for me to wake up when love called for me, to speak to me. So everyday at lunch time she would approach me, when I didn't notice her. Saying my name with so much love & admiration. And giving me hugs letting me know, that her love would have me wet for days. But I was stupid for not pursuing that interracial love, with a white queen. I was so worried about what my family was saying. That I was mad at myself. Because she was that white chocolate queen, who had that sexy walk & sexy talk. As I was returning for my final year of high school, for the fall of 2008. She was still thinking of me, I had thought I didn't have another chance. We had the same spanish class again, to make this right. This is how I knew love was speaking to me. Cause she knew I was shy & scared, when it came to love. She should of been made the love, that would be my queen for prom. But I let that ignorance of others, get to me again. So when the school dance came around, Katie asked will I be her date, for the dance. And I kept messing up, then spirit week came. At lunch I went to one of the tables, where they had different items. Her best friend was on the cheer leading team, &she asked me am I buying Katie flowers. I said yes I am, that's when Katie came out of no where. Asking are those flowers for her & it made her smile even more. When you reject love this many time, it will still be speaking to you. I had to learn that love will always overcome & heal that pain. So I went back to focusing on track & finishing high school. That I didn't hear the lyrics of love, from Rhiaunna who was also on the track team. And I had known her since 2007. Her love began speaking to me, when she started talking to me after school. Saying things like why you always so loud. And she always had a big smile on her face. I was like dayum she is, that brown sugar love that I needed. It was a trip to me because every time, I was standing by myself. She was always approaching me, revealing that brown sugar love, that was so sweet. After the African American senior awards, she approached me with that sexy orange dress. A poem was already being written, that I didn't even express them lyrics. Rhiaunna said that I was the only one, that could make here laugh & smile. I use to write her messages on facebook, she telling me she knew. If that was so. Then why didn't you, tell me why you finally wanted me. As that drop of caramel that would be, that love that never ends. This made me wonder would Rhiaunna and I, start making love to one another. If she was my prom date. This would be a love story, that would be turned into a movie. We graduated high school and went our separate ways. But years later my best friend John L. Still calls me telling me, have I talked to Rhiaunna. He's always telling me, she still ask about me. Then he says you start dating her. I kept saying why she didn't tell me, what she really felt. John told me you know how girls are. When it comes to having a crush on a man. And I said she wasn't shy when we were in high school. So I don't know why she is acting shy now. There is no reason for me to hate, on that brown sugar love. That called for me & spoke to me. Rhiaunna when you read my book, you will know my love for you. Didn't turn into hate, & it didn't fade away.
To become that man of love
So I was starting my first year at Santa Monica City College, I had made some new friends. I was taking a basketball class, during the summer of 2010. Then I met this chick who started flirting with me. Throwing water on me, then I had slapped her on her ass. I had never got that close, to doing that to a woman. Krystin & I started dating, and she told me her past. A person's old dirty laundry doesn't bother me, because your past is your past. I thought it was real love, until she called me the night after. From spending a romantic day at Dock Wolier Beach California. She called to tell me that she had cheated on me. Yes I had cried, but I was to forgive her. Because you can't move on. If can't forgive that pain of love. We became good friends who saw each other every day between classes. It woke me up not to give up on love or keep rejecting it. There is a reason why pain exist. I was still lost & trying to find myself. To discover what my gifts, skills &abilities were. Then I had discovered at the age of 19, that I was supposed to be an actor who does poetry. My first audition was at Gower Studios on Sunset & Gower Hollywood California. I had got the audition when a PR rep from the company, to my school. I was so happy that I had found something, to act out my emotions. But what put my dreams on hold was not having money, & not having the support of my family. The year of 2011 came & it was a battle for real. That becoming a pro athlete wasn't for me. The journey of a transformation began, when the creator, poetry & music. Called for me when I was 5 years old. But I didn't accept the responsibility due to fear, to remain in the spotlight. And finally I had to deal with this pain, that gave me so much anger due to ignorance. I had already wrote a series of poems at the age of 16, that I didn't tell anyone. There was no more being scared & sensitive. So I recited my first poem, her flow is my melody. At this open mic called the Jamboree, off of Fairfax &Melrose Hollywood California. My soul brotha Fonze told me about this open mic. At first it was cool but then, the audience became infected with booty bandits. I had forgot this is Hollywood California, the capital of bullshit. I had met Fonze on the number 7 big blue bus. And we were brought into each other lives, to deliver one another. For still holding on to them demons that blinded us from the truth. Then we began hanging out every day, the community had notice that we are brothers. We made the creators love, faith & prayer, poetry &music so strong. That we were healing people & ourselves everyday. We had no choice but to throw away our egos, in order to defeat the devil. That boring open mic taught me, that I must not shut down. When the audience gets rude & chaotic. I had no choice but to find a new home, to let my voice be heard for poetry. I was doing my research on google & found this open mic, called Nicetys Poetry N Motion lounge. It was on 91st & Western ave, that had went down on Thursdays &Friday nights. As I had came to Nicetys on a Thursday night, I went to go speak with the owner. I had told her my age, that I was 20. And Ms. Nicety told me, you have to be 21 & over. Before she let me walk away. Ms. Nicety let me perform because she received a message, that I had a testimony to tell. This love of poetry &music that called for me, gave me an out let. To deal with my emotions. So Nicetys Poetry N Motion lounge, became a weekly thang. But the spiritual battle got deeper when, the devil was using my family. To get rid of me. All because I had to learn that I was the medicine, to that pain. That gives love more truth & power.
My mom who needed love
I was kicked out my house for helping, my twin Shante Mask find a place. We had both went to the Los Angeles County building, to apply for food stamps & General relief. After our case was approved we had, to look into housing assistance programs. We only could find transitional housing, which was like a group home. But this type of program was full of all type of people. It was already bad enough I couldn't sleep, or didn't eat that much. Because I wanted to resolve this issue of me & my mom both being hurt. And the creator told me not to forsake her, or leave her. So my mom had forgiven me, for not healing her pain. Then I returned home because I had enough, of that transitional housing. It was time for me to free my closet full of demons. See you can't have love, if you can't forgive those that gave you pain. It took me a long time to understand this, because I didn't deal with my nightmares or issues. No matter how big the scars are. They can be turned back into love, we must remain open to it. I am happy that the creator, poetry &music did call for me. I probably would of joined a gang, got hooked on drugs, or committed suicide. This love that was dealing with me for so many years. Was speaking to me, to prepare me, to preach to people. Who left love for drugs, money, fame etc. This was the test for me, not to remain so emotional. Then I began telling Ms. Nicety what was going on. She suggested that I go to her nephews church. And get deep into my spiritual journey. She took me in as her adopted son. I was very thankful for her letting me perform, at her open mic spot. Ms. Nicety was teaching me so much that it made see. That no matter what, nothing can replace the love of your family.
The Cinderella story
As the year 2011 was coming to an end. I was hearing about the Americas Got Talent Auditions. It was going to be on December 18 &19, at the Anaheim convention center. So I had registered to go on as a lyrical poet. I'm just thinking that this was going to be, me going to an audition. Little did I know love was calling for me, to speak to me. The night before the audition, I was in a hurry. That I didn't bring warm clothes for the cold. All I had was a sweater, my back pack, & the bible. But it wasn't enough to keep me going through the night. I was the first one, to be in line. I thought it would already be a long line, at 8pm at night. But more people started coming by each hour of the night. And that's when I notice this young black queen. Who was fine, like a never before seen flower. She was like 4 in line, with her nice tent. I tried to get some sleep, but the cold winds kept me up. Destiny & I both woke up, and we began talking. And she was asking me, what song should she sing. I told her to sing, what's in her heart. Her voice was so calm & sweet. It had me think she had that anointing. It was now 5am and we were both drained. So we both got out of line, to get some hot chocolate. From the star bucks inside the hotel. We were waiting like an hour for it to open up. And it was finally 6am, so we walked back to the line. As soon as we found out, we had lost our spots in line. Was it divine faith that we placed in the same group. I guess it was because Destiny kept approaching me. With that big lovely smile & that body like woah. So she began asking me questions. And I didn't reject her love, that was speaking to me. As we were one of the last groups to audition. I waited for Destiny after my audition. I heard her kill her audition. I seen her tears of joy, & knew it was her time to shine. Before we went our separate ways. She told me to take her number down & I did. A week had went by, & she had called me. I thought the man was supposed to be, the one to lead. The first step in name of love. We spent a few weeks talking on the phone. That frustration of not being able, to see each other got to us. So she made a date to come to Los Angeles. She said does it bother me, that we live 4& a half hours away from it each other. I said lets see where things go. It was now January 2012, we were finally going to meet. So Destiny & her new born son, came to my mom's house. I introduced her to my mom. Then we went to McDonald's to get her son something to eat. Then we came back to my mom's house, sat on the front porch talking. Then she ask me, when was the last time you had sex. I told her I am a 20 year old virgin. She said you will be alright, once you get some good pussy. Then we went in the house, sat on the couch, to talk some more. Then she reached in my pants, to grab my dick. And she said dayum you already hard & wet, lets go. So we entered my bed room, she quickly found a toy. For her son to play with. She quickly takes off, her pants & panties. Wanting me to get on top, & begin stroking that wet pussy. Yes we were about raw sex, it just felt right. So the first round of sex felt so dam good, that I couldn't pull out. As I stopped to think, once I bust this big nut inside her. She will become pregnant. But it was time to get back to losing my virginity. And she grabbed me, to not stop. It felt good to bust that first nut. I still had an erection, then I said. Let me hit it from the back doggy style. The sex position doggy style became, my favorite position. And after each time we saw each other. All we did was have sex. I was like dayum, she put it on me each time. We were so busy having sex. That we didn't spend time, getting to know one another. Then she tells me she prayed for a man, that was no different than her. when I had got my tablet return money. I had more than enough, for an engagement ring. On February 14, 2012, I went to fox hills mall in Culver City CA. To buy some things for Victoria Secret, &buy the ring from Kevin jewlers. After a long night of love making. I Jarvon had proposed to Destiny on February 15, 2012. So at the age of 20, I was now engaged. I was taking on a huge responsibility, & I couldn't hold back now. So a few months went by, of me &her. Going back & forth to see one another. The relationship ended in August 2012. It ended because I didn't have job, and I wasn't going to move Visalia CA Central Valley. There was just so many things that went wrong. She was insecure thinking I was a pimp. And she also kept questioning my sexuality. Asking me if I am a bisexual man. Destiny was constantly persecuting me because I was weird. We both came from the same background. That we could relate to each other's pain. I let her keep the ring as a gift. I had learned so much from this relationship. That I must not throw away my love, unconditional love & kindness.
The healing from that love
My pain from this relationship started to heal. Once I let the creator speak to me with my new gift. To start singing romantic love songs. So no matter how many times, my heart got broke. Love was always there to speak to me. You see love is not the enemy. It's that ignorance that keeps us from the real truth. It is now 2015 & I have been single for almost 4years now. Because I am so focused on becoming an actor who does poetry. Becoming a male model. And soon have my own massage therapy business. Its now the summer of 2015 and I had to make another change. So I heard about Job Corp and I applied online for the orientation. My new journey for success began on July 20,2016 at Long Beach Job Corp CA. I'm thinking that I was gone loner and anticocial, staying focus for success. Let alone be in the spotlight light again of having love. But I was wrong and this new adventure for romance began in August 2016. In this class called career success foundation. At lunch this young lady Justice asked me do you think I'm pretty. And I replied I will write it down. So I had written a poem for her called she is that love that speaks. And I asked my friend Cedric at lunch time to give to her. The next day thats when the adventure for romance began. But I didn't take her serious because she was young and wil. It was a week later I decided to give her a chance, and told her roomate Stephanie to give her my number. This first phone conversation took place Sunday night, where she wanted to hear more poetry. Days later went by and I'm thinking is time to have love again. But I just became frustrated because all she would call me for. Is to go the store for her. How do u love and miss a person, if you don't take the time to spend time with the person. I continued to be nice to her to show patience. I gave Justice a chance not because she is that thick caramel red bone. But because she needed to be reminded that black men, are more than niggas. Who pursue women just to fornicate. Another suprise took my heart, two days after thanksgiving Saturday. Where ex first love Destiny called me, saying she will be LA lets meet up. So I go to Compton Califronia to meet up with Destiny. I was happpy because I waited 5 years for this. And she was happy to see me. And we started our reconnection, by talking everyday on the phone again. Yes this is a battle for me to prove to her and her kids, that I'm not a nigga. Who doesn't appreciate a good woman. Its been back and fourth due to her past of not having the right man, but the creator spoke to her again. So we finallly are making this work, cause loved called for us agian. Not to be torn by our scars of pain. I have decided to go the army, so that Destiny and I can have the life of not being broken. But I finally had to let destiny go, because she left me for the second time. She stopped talking to me, cause of her family issues. And because we are not in our careers. Now I must erase the wedding vows I wrote. So I no longer have to bleed from faliure. This was my experience. When love calls it will speak. To teach us that love, was never the lie.
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